How to Increase your Emotional Intelligence

Have you ever read a novel, or see a movie and your favorite character got your endorsement simply because of petulant comments, emotional displacement, or some other blind spots known to all but the character?

This is me, in the series “Suits.” Louis happens to be my favorite character for the wrong reasons. His emotional bandwidth, with forward genuineness and empathy for the people he cares about, gives me a great muse.

Louis’s insatiable appetite for the endorsement of people, particularly Mr Harvey Spector always meets an abyss, making him emotionally vulnerable and unpredictable.

Today, I want to talk about emotional intelligence. When we talk about intelligence, our minds first think about cognitive intelligence. Every human has both the emotional mind and the rational mind, and non is to be taking more seriously at the expense of the other. Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and manage your emotions.

Emotion is a natural instinctive state of mind, derived from one’s circumstance, mood, or relationship with others. Emotions are fluid. However, actions triggered by emotions not properly handled are not so easy to erase. Acting emotionally is like “I don’t give a shit about the future, I care about right now.”-Louis.

My favorite scenes in the movie “suits,” are Louis’s engagements with his therapist. At some point, the therapist told him he’s scared to confront his issues. We need to first understand that there’s an issue, first off and be ready to take steps.

How to understand emotional intelligence?
Know what:

  1. Makes you frustrated?
  2. Makes you feel sad?
  3. Lastly, what makes you feel unwanted?

And how do you manage these at the right time and at the right degree?

  1. Meditation: in the midst of a heated situation, we can steal a thinking time when a part of our emotions has been triggered. We learn to control our thoughts by practicing outside the situation. By doing that, we are able to give the rational mind charge over the emotional mind.
  2. Keeping a journal: Writing or keeping track of how your day went keeps our emotions in good check. Keeping daily reflection entails intentionally taking out time at the end of each day to sit down and access our day, especially through writing.
  3. Getting feedback: Blind spots are things about you that all, but you see about you. Truth is at a certain point of our lives, there are certain negative traits we exhibit but would argue about when confronted. The fact that we don’t see them doesn’t mean they do not exist. Ask for feedback, and be ready to swallow the bitter pill because most certainly, it is not what you’ll want to hear about yourself. When you do, appreciate them and ask how you can do better.
  4. Pulling down existing mental/physical strongholds: We have to be pragmatic in dealing with certain behaviors. They affect our emotions a great deal. These include mindset such as it is you against the world, being weak and refusing help, procrastination, impatience, rush work, being stubborn, and lazy et al.

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Thank you!

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